Monday, January 30, 2012

Confessions Of A First Bencher.. [Repost]

[This is a repost. This also happens to be one of my favorite posts. When Atrocious Scribblings suggested I do a repost, I did not think twice. So here is the post for a re-read]

Back Bencher Consortium(C):Now Now…What would a First Bencher (read the geek, nerd, book worm...) have to confess? We have all read the chronicles from Last Benchers...
And My My they are very interesting. But then if you ask my opinion first benchers are a bunch of bumble bees who just sit around so that the professors don't feel bad..
They just sit and sit and sit, eyes wide open, nodding there heads as if they understood every single word said and is blessed by the newly acquired knowledge. Worse? They ask questions. Not that we mortals are attentive to lectures( we are away, far far away dreaming and catching up some sleep after the late night movie marathons...)..You do not get a word of what they are talking about (you feel you were just teleported to classroom just this second) and they have inevitable spoiled a good day's slumber...
Despicable creatures!!!

ME (Representative, World First Benchers Welfare Organisation. WF(W)O):
Whoah!!!So many allegations. Such a personal attack on a community which never bothered to compete for the much sought student territory of back seats?? Now the time has come for the truth, the revelation. Time to cleanse us of the malicious charges.
Let me confess. I am a frontbencher (Oh!The despicable me!). Yes. Someone who always sat right in the front of any class attended. But not even for once be beguiled by my intentions and my poker straight face. See it was never a choice and allow me to explain.

1. I am short. Which means some times I cannot even see the tutor let alone check which direction the tutor is looking before I can attempt any of my not-so-authorized-activities in the class.

2. And more than often tutors tend to concentrate on the backbenchers than us the "poor-nerds"...Or may be not. But being in first bench gives us the unique vantage point for the tutors movement allowing us better opportunities to fun..

3. Once when I was very late to class, I happened to get the last but one bench...After the class I had a handful of tiny paper balls on my pony tail and two miniature paper rockets. I was the butt of the joke that day for the Backbenchers. I heard one of them had applied for NASA...I'm pretty sure he'll get through from the preciseness of the rocket launching he had done the other day...

4. Again couple of times when I landed up in the last seat. I smiled at the prospect with a wickedness that matched Tom's(from Tom and Jerry)..But on each occasion I was hauled right on the stage near the board to solve difficult problems; right in front of the class...These evil things happen only when I sit at the back bench.

Oh ya call me superstitious !!!

5. And Hello non-front bencher!!! We are not nodding our heads in acknowledgement with the tutor we are dozing off. Remember I was the one next to you when you screamed your lungs out after watching Tom Cruise in that entry shot of Vanilla Sky, You Moron!!!..And Talk about screaming at 3 am in the morning!!!

6. And that look of bliss, that one comes when you successfully stifle a yawn. And when we actually miss stifling we drop our pens rather unobtrusively. Bend down,yawn,pick up the pen and sit up. Come on,After all we have a
reputation to maintain..

7. Sorry about disturbing you with the questions. Most of them even we don't know what we are asking...When someone jostles us from sleep(Oh Yes !You. You back bencher, by passing notes or creaking the furniture or by chatter and giggles.), it's our reflex action to create a question from the last technical term that pops up in the subconscious...
eg: Madam,Do you think the electrical energy in the motor can be harnessed in a more efficient way by working on the coefficient of friction in the windings??
See it made sense to no one in particular...

8. Most importantly if you are actually in the mood to study(read the day after new year/resolution),there is nothing to come between you and the educational system. Not even the rustic benches and desks...

Back Benchers we are sorry for keeping you all in the dark. We are just like you...Around to have fun, make friends and in process learn [enough to land up a job with plush salary..]..We are not really no-fun people..
We are just into an unconventional way of having fun sitting right under the nose of the teacher..

P:S: NOM to any of my teachers. I believe in holistic education. More than what the text books can teach or one can cram up to clear the papers..

Saturday, January 28, 2012

When I got published…

I will cut the long story short (Because I'm too excited for words). Some time last year, I had mailed the publishers “” a short story. I got an acknowledgement informing me that the story was accepted and “read”. I was glad that it did not go unrecognized like my resume almost always does.

Last week, totally out of the blue, the Associate Editor mails me informing me of the publishing date. It came out on Jan 22nd.And I jumped up and down the entire house.

Here is the link to the short story

Thank you Burnside Writers, you made my year.

P.S: Call it life’s satire Jan 22 also happens to be my wedding anniversary.

Monday, January 16, 2012

My "Purple Splash"

I have decided friends- to let go. It is not worth holding on to or so I understand. I can give in and curl comfortably in it's folds like I have done till date. I can tell myself,” Let’s have fun today and leave tomorrow to take care of itself.”
But for now,Sorry Extra Kilos! Bye, bye.

I am an inspired woman you see. It’s still January and I’m determined to lose some weight this year also. As a first step I purchased Nike running shoes in white and purple (Such a waste of money the cynic in you would say. The cynic in me did say this and  keeps repeating it like a radio). I actually wanted a black with purple but couldn’t find any. Well, before you make that face let me tell you proudly-I did go for a jog wearing it. Well, actually a brisk-walk if you want the truth. Here is the conversation I had with the sales man at the Nike store.

Mr. Salesman: “Hello madam, how may I help you?”

Me (Yours truly trying to sound totally serious.): “Well, I am looking for shoes for Gym and running.”

Mr. Salesman: “Madam if you are talking about the Marathon training then I can suggest this one...”
(Looked like he really took me seriously)

Me:” Err…I don’t do marathons. I was talking about jogging you know”
(Actually I  don't do anything.I am making an effort buddy.Don't embarrass me!)

Mr. Salesman:” This one works perfectly well for jogging as well. But Madam
do you jog for more than 5 days a week? A longer time might require a totally different design.”

Me (cringing inwardly): “I jog probably 2-3 times a week.”

Mr.Salesman:”Madam if it’s more than three hours continuously…”

Me (shamefacedly):”Friend, let’s talk in terms of minutes. Like twenty minutes or thirty minutes on a day, you know.”

Well, by the end of the conversation he got the drift. If he felt like laughing out aloud he did not show any such emotions. Or may be he has too many people like me in this January that it doesn’t sound so funny to him anymore.

I picked this lovely pair of shoes and walked out of the show room with my pocket few dollars lighter and feeling few kilos lighter.
I call her my "Purple Splash"